Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
God, you're like boner-b-gone
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
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