I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
