This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
