I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
