She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
