hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
