Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
