I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
