If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
These tits shall not be calmed
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize