i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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