i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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