I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Randomize
