She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
