he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
