Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
sarcasm needs its own font
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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