Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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