"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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