I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
