I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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