I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
