bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
