As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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