Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
