Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just tell him i said nine months
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize