Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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