I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
