Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
