I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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