i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
