so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
