i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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