That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
