I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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