If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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