ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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