Will you blow on my dice?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
We are two peas in an std pod
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
