Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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