That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
