i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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