Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Brb crying the tears of my youth
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
