I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize