I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
