I can tuck mytits in my pants
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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