Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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