so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
