trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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