He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
