If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
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