I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
