wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We left an ass print on the piano.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
