first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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