tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
