Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
