hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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