im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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