____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
