i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
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