the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
