Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
