video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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