Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
