Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize