There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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