So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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