Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
