question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
