I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
The power of my boobs compel you
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
